There's more...and more and more and more.  So much has happened since even the last post.  We now only have 75 days until the wedding.  (CRAZY!)  I leave for a shower in Charleston a week from this coming Wednesday.  My little brother is married and his wife is having a baby!  Holy moly...and if that wasn't all I've been promoted to Executive Director at the Irving Park YMCA.

I don't really even know what to say except that I am incredibly lucky and happy.  I could not have a better partner or family and friends.  I walk around wondering what I could have done to deserve everything that's been happening.  And I still have no idea.  So instead of trying to figure it out, I just plan to continue to be grateful for EVERYTHING every single day.

Everything with the wedding is going fine.  I'll knock out a bunch of things when I meet with my mom and brother in a week or so.  That will really help settle everything.  It's a pretty long list, but that's okay.  We can get it done.

For now, the focus is trying to tackle a really big new job and finish up all of the wedding planning.  Not to mention that Randy and I have some side projects that we are looking into as well.

Like I said...75 more days.

YIKES!

Living in the presents

I just had a fantastic morning. Awesome! I woke up feeling rested!  Then I snuggled with Randy and my dog and made my way over to the blender I've been using every day.  Ever since I found out I have hypoglycemia and that it has a profound effect on my life, I've been making efforts to be more healthy.  And every morning for the last week, I've started my day with a fruit, greek yogurt, and flax seed smoothie.  Doesn't sound as great as it is, but it's truly quite delish.

Last week we celebrated our first wedding shower. (pictures to come).  I was incredibly touched by those who drove several hours, planned, cleaned etc for everything involving this day.  My Aunt Deloris, Aunt Shirley, Mama and my mom drove all the way from Charleston to spend the weekend with me. I was already feeling spoiled.  We also received so many presents I don't know what to do with them all.  We have them piled in the extra bedroom until we can figure that out.

The amount of joy seeing everyone and spending time reflecting on the wedding really helped with the insanity of the past couple of weeks.  It's nice that in life there are those bright spots that help us to re prioritize.

More soon!

In Sickness and in Health...

Warning...this entry is sort of a heart-pour-out.

It's been since October since I've written because life has just been so crazy.  It's been a whirlwind for a series of very very good reasons and for some bad ones.  I've been struggling with some health problems over the past couple months only to find that the root of the cause could be my diet.  My blood sugar is apparently all over the place and it's likely that I have hypoglycemia.  I had begun having seizures/treamors a couple of months ago and couldn't figure out the cause.  After a couple of visits to the doctor we likely have the culprit, stupid blood sugar. Fine.  Simple enough right?  Ugh.  I'm on a restricted diet with no sugar and low carbs.  Yuck!  I am feeling better and have had no seizures since I've changed my diet but I'm really struggling.  It's only been a week but it's still really difficult.

The other recent health development is far more serious and has nothing to do with me.  Poor Randy has had back pain since I met him and in the last month his pain has gone from bad to worse.  It's been so bad that he hasn't been sleeping and has had to turn down a job because he couldn't physically sit in a car to get there, he is in too much pain even for short car rides.  Awful. He's been to the doctor several times but he just wasn't getting better.  I worked for a little bit today and when I got home he was wincing in pain on the couch once again.  I knew that enough was enough and took him to the ER.
Well...we just got back from the ER where, after a discussion about his MRI from yesterday, the doctors believe it's likely he will have to have spinal surgery.  Crazy.  Some of you may know that my dad had a similar surgery several years ago.  The surgery won't be exactly the same, as my dad's issues were near his neck and Randy's is near the tail bone.

Still...I'm terrified and sad and scared and terrified again.  I love him so much and it's been so difficult to see him in this much pain the past couple of weeks.  And it brings me back to watching my dad struggle through it all a few years back. I remembered feeling helpless and that's how I feel right now.  There is nothing I can for him to ease the pain.  And he's such an active guy, I know it's hard for him to stay in day after day doing nothing but walking the dog around a little bit and laying on the couch.  It just tears me up when I hear him moan in pain.  It hurts so much.  And there is nothing that I can do except to take care of him when he lets me and continue to live my life knowing full well in everything that I do that the man I love is in terrible pain.  It's so hard.

I'm writing it in this blog not only because it's helping me think and sift through some of this stuff but because it's a part of who we are.  I know that things don't always go smoothly...and even though I am so extremely excited to have my shower  this weekend (yay!) the most important thing in my life is Randy.  He is the love I always wanted and I'd do anything for him.

And I know that these moments of sickness that we experience from time to time (which includes many of my friends, their family and their pets right now) are moments to remember how very lucky we are to be able bodied and physically capable to work and play and go shopping.  And that we can live our lives without much thought as to how we will get around.  I can't help but think of those who aren't as lucky.  People who struggle with pain daily and are limited by their bodies.  I feel guilty for taking this for granted.

So to end on a positive note, my mom, mama and two aunts will be here to surprise me this weekend.  I get to see a bunch of people that I love all in one spot.  It means so much to me, especially right now.

Okay, I'm thankful for this resource and getting my feelings sorted out.  I'm know Randy will be fine and as soon as I know when he will have the surgery I will update everyone.

Thank you for listening (reading).

Promotions and Puppies

Life has been full.  That much I can say.  I feel like I've lived more and experienced more in the past three months than I have in some years of my life.  It's been a wild, wild ride.

It's official, I've been promoted to Senior Program Director.  A much more prestigious position.  Really challenging me all of the time.  I'm looking forward to my exec having her baby, but I am a little nervous about how everything at work is going to shake out with her being gone.  She is extremely hands on and that's been so amazing to experience.
So yay for me. I am happy with the change.  I felt some challenges in the old role.  But now I feel a lot more useful and in the right place.

Chance has been keeping us busy.  He's growing like crazy.  He's now over 3 months old and still completely adorable and doesn't listen at all.  :) But he's a puppy.

Wedding stuff is moving right along.  With the help of my bridesmaids, we found the perfect hotel for everyone to stay and have a free breakfast every morning.  Not to mention that there is a shuttle that will take everyone downtown and they offer transportation to the church and reception.  Everything that I was looking for. (Thanks Lib and Bridget).

We need to either find a good picture of ourselves or take one for the save the dates.  And I need to get those printed soon so that we can mail them out as Christmas cards. But I haven't gotten any addresses from my parents yet.  So I'll have to ask them to step on that a bit.

Anyway...here's a picture of my little guy.  This right before we both fell into the creek (twice).

Something finally registered

This isn't a post about registries, however, we did some of that today.

I had a minor weird health scare (I'm fine,  honestly) the other night, so we cancelled plans for the weekend and I laid around most of Saturday.  We woke up Sunday with plans to decide where we wanted to register.  We made our way to BBB, Bed Bath and Beyond.  Randy was surprised to hear that they had kitchen supplies, which I explained was the "beyond" part. We took in some good advice from our friends...the chef and the pastry chef (a husband and wife duo) and we took that mighty gun and shopped our little hearts out.

Needless to say, with everything else going on (with myself and everyone in my life), the whole experience was a little overwhelming.  And it was hard to listen the ladies sch peel, listen to the advice of our friends, listen to Randy's opinions and try to figure out what kind of mixing bowls I wanted to mix my future kids birthday cakes in.  It all sort of tied my life up in a little bow.  And I couldn't figure out what I wanted or where we were going to put it.  Randy had me worried about space until he picked out a counter top popcorn machine that we just "had to" register for.  I told him I figured my dad would buy it for him considering he also loves popcorn.  Although I can't imagine where on earth it's going to go.

It was just really overwhelming.  And then I sat down to work on the registry a little and saw this:

I was sitting there working on the registry, looked up and Randy winked at me.  And I started to cry a little.  I realized that it doesn't matter what bowl is sitting next to him, or the fact that the dog started to chew on our table (I know!) it matters that he loves me and I love him.  I thought about the future version of him as I looked at him sitting there working.  I pictured him with grey hair and the same crinkled smile he gives me and says, "Hi Pretty."  No matter what else comes our way, I've got the best person possible to figure it out with.  It doesn't mean things won't be hard sometimes.  I know they will, and sometimes they are hard now.  But it's through all of it that we will learn more and try and work and fight and love.  

I just realized that it's easy to get carried away, but I need to continue to  focus on the things that truly matter, my little family :)

Enough of a ramble for the evening.

Good night.

Things are getting exciting...

I'm so excited to marry him.  I really can't wait.  We now, weekly, ask each other, "will you marry me?"  I am guessing that there were many days we both wanted to say it, but we were waiting for it to be special. Now we can indulge.  I love when he asks me again anyway.

In more wedding news...

My bridesmaids have all been asked!  That is very exciting.  There is one more groomsmen that needs to be asked as well.  And then the wedding party will be official.

That's so awesome.  It feels good to get that done.  We have our invitations being designed, which are going to be awesome and then once my mom and I can agree on the church we will be home free.  Well...that and we need to get a ton of addresses for the invites and put together the shower.

That also means that we will have to register soon.  That sounds exciting!!

Also...here are some much better pix from Kelly's wedding:

Randy...totally ridiculous!

I love this picture.  We are having fun.

My favorite picture ever.  Looks like 1960's "why I oughta!"

He was "dangerous on the dancefloor"

My gorgeous girls.  Love you both.

Hamming it up Mustache Style like always.

My beautiful friend Bridget

The best one of all...with the bride.  All was perfection!

Charleston and Chance

 

So...(drum roll please)...We have a location and it is Charleston, SC. 

 

A very, very special location for my family and for me.  Luckily Randy is fine with having our wedding there and we will be getting married at my grandmother's church, followed by a reception at the Elk's lodge.  I grew up in that lodge.  I remember being a nine year old kid in my cousin Melanie's wedding and sliding around on the floor in my dress.  I can only hope everyone will love Charleston as much as I do. 

 

Part of the fun of it being in Charleston is that I'll be near to all of my family.  That means that my mom will (hopefully) have a lot of help with the details that I will not be there to help with.  My older brother has also offered to help us out.  He apparently has "wedding fever" which prompted me to get extremely excited.  I have no doubt that he will have my best interest at heart.  And he has an amazing eye for design.  It doesn't hurt that he is also our photographer, which means that he will KNOW what will look good on film (or digitally).

 

Can you tell I'm getting excited?

 

Part of the fun is wondering how the family will put some of my ideas together.  I'm totally okay with giving up some of the control about how things come out because I actually think it will be less stressful.  Which is part of my original vision of my wedding.

 

As far as invites go...I'm pretty sure they are going to be awesome.  We are still getting some quotes but I'm getting a littel geeked at the idea of using magnolia flowers in everything.  Which we can also incorporate into centerpieces and bouquets.  I've always been told that magnolias are part of my "southern heritage".  I also think they happen to be quite lovely.

 

As far as semantics, those will all have to get worked out later.  Transportation for our guests will be an issue.  We are thinking about looking for hotels near the airport to ensure that people will not have to rent a car.  We are going to try and help people save money where we can.  As far as everything else goes, we will be able to extend our guest list a little bit for two reasons.  1.Not as many people will be able to travel from Chicago, and 2. The venue is being catered by family and holds a ton of people.  All good things.

 

One other little tricky detail is that we have a new addition to our family.  A Golden Retriever Pup we named Chance.  Randy and I have been looking at pups here and there and after Kelly and

Dan's wedding (more to come on that too...) we hung out with some friends in the suburbs before we planned to head over to Randy's mom's house.  Instead of just bumming around we really wanted to check out pups again.  I don't know how to describe it but when I met this pup, he just melted me.  We bonded and connected.  I didn't want a male dog.  I didn't want long hair and I wanted a Weim.  But he fit the bill in personality and cuteness and he has the best demeanor...I'm already in love.

 

 

That being said, there's a moment when Randy was talking to the dog and I literally just melted.  I have a patient, loving and kind fiance.  He has really taught me so much in the last year about how to have confidence in love.  He's never jaded or mean or unfair.  I love the way that Randy loves. So now there is even more love in our little family.

 

Meet Chance Miller.  He's 8 weeks old.  He slept completely through the night without whining and still needs to be potty trained :)  But we love him.

 

So...as far as the wedding goes...we may be bringing our pal with us. After all it is a family event.

 

My friends Kelly and Dan got married this weekend and their wedding was extremely personable and about family.  It was very well done.  The message was loud and clear that it was about making everyone happy, fed and comfortable.  So great!  Plus all of the little touches that Kelly had planned just turned out perfectly right down to her hair and makeup.  The picture I have is blurry...but honestly that's how I felt about their whole wedding. It truly just feels like yesterday that they got engaged.  I'm so happy for them.  They were a wonderful bride/groom combo!

 

 

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